the donkey punch

B the Opponent has some odd friends. Or, maybe he just has friends and those friends — like good friends often do — are willing to overlook some embarrassing foibles.

But you see, friendship is also about setting your friends straight. So it is that I find amusement in the odd defense B the Opponent’s friends keep trumping up. Like, this one, for example, from those douchebags that won’t go away:

Quote Of The Day

I loved this gem from former Lt. Governor Steve Beshear (D) in today’s Middlesboro Daily News:

“I’m running against an incumbent so desperate to keep his job, he’s willing to say anything to keep it,” Beshear said. “Well, for every lie they tell about us, we’ll tell the truth about them. And the truth about them is much worse than any lies they can tell about us.”

Amen.

I mean, really? What’s the point here? This is the sort of shit people want to read on a blog? An inane quote from a fucking Dittohead?

And really, B, what’s the fucking lie? That your economic plan for the state you wish to govern is based exclusively on gambling? Or that you and all your friends have promised the moon, a brighter tomorrow and health insurance on that phantom concept?

That’s not how you build an economy. And to point it out isn’t a lie.

So really, what’s the gem here? And what do you do when the lie they told about you turns out to be the truth? What will you do then?

And that is today’s Donkey Punch.

Alright, now we are talking. Finally after a three month cooling off period since the primaries our two candidates for governor are back subsidizing the local television industry. I have to say I could not be more happy. Usually commercials that are produced within the state suck. Some old asshole yelling about furniture or some fat guys and a Latino playing poker talking about how North Broadway Auto is more than willing to completely ream you by giving you a car and then breaking your legs when you cannot pay them.

Nice lighting, good sound and a well scouted location; that is what I look for in a good commercial.

Now, lets get to the Sucker Punch.
— F, the governor – is on a tour of casino towns, and he is bringing us along; thanks F. In a well thought out campaign strategy he is talking about what he is not doing, the best part is he is not doing something that has not been done. And I have a feeling – F, the governor – is going to F himself and his own unhappy ending.However, I think casino gambling could work well for the state, we just need to hop on the MIRAPEX bandwagon. MIRAPEX is a drug made by Boehringer Ingelheim Pharmaceuticals. It helps people with restless legs. The reason I bring this up and the reason Boehringer Ingelheim Pharmaceuticals can help the future of Kentucky is stated on their web page.

Here is what I mean:
“There have been reports of patients taking certain medications to treat Parkinson’s disease
or RLS, including MIRAPEX, that have reported problems with gambling, compulsive eating,
and increased sex drive…”

So if we just make this a drug that can be abused, perhaps infuse it with some Oxycotin (possible name oxymirapexin) to insure its addictive properties. This will help the Commonwealth in many ways.

We can insure the casinos will make money, people will get fatter, and the restless legs will finally find rest.

Then — and this is the important part — we can then use the increased gambling revenue to build higher education trade schools in underprivileged areas that focus solely on training and educating lawyers in the field of fucking pharmaceutical companies. Thereby we provide real world skills that provide good paying jobs in rural areas pulling these areas out of being uneducated and poor.

F, the Governor: You are a poor resemblance of a person. I could give two shits about gambling and there is no way you are going to make me care, even with your good lighting and well scripted unhappy ending.

B, the opponent: If you allow F, the Governor to control the dialog you can fall into the same grave as flip-flop.

Kiss my ass, I want health insurance.

Take that SUCKER PUNCH