I tried to find a way to SUCKER PUNCH our dear senator Craig but could not stop giggling. I would normally expect morefrom the SUCKER PUNCH, but realized — and I am not sure how this is possible– the man SUCKER PUNCHED himself.Giggle on gay man, giggle on.
I don’t know what it was about today, but my mind wandered back to sweet ol’ Bertha Champagne.
If you don’t remember, Bertha was the 62-year-old long-time nanny in the home of Mr. Marvin Bush, one of our esteemed nation’s three First Brothers. She was by all accounts sweet and loved by all.
Then one fateful night nearly four years ago as she stood in Marvin’s driveway, poor Bertha was struck by an unoccupied vehicle that had somehow slipped into gear and was slowly rolled to her obviously straight-forward death.
There is, of course, plenty to read about Ms. Champagne were you to scour all the bullshit left-wing America-haters have seeded across the Google, but I’ll just send you to those liberal assholes over at the WaPo.
I guess maybe it’s just important to remember those that pass and I guess also it’s easy to be glib with the passing. So, in this spirit of, oh this momentary jaunt into the void of feeling, let me lament:
The brave police officers who fall in the line of duty while protecting the leader of the free world, both the one today in New Mexico and the one last November in Honolulu. (It hardly needs mentioning that those shits at Democratic Underground are rejoicing.)
Arizona Senator Rick Renzi — Victim of that liberal witch hunt known as politics as usual, Sen. Renzi is guilty of nothing more than being a fine American crafted from the very mold of all such fine Americans as who have ever represented this the greatest nation on Earth. But when those fucks at the FBI raided his business, well, a good white man can only stand so much.
Idaho Senator Larry Craig — He is guilty only of having taken a shit, and in the process tapping his feet, playing footsie, reaching under a public bathroom stall divider for a phantom piece of paper and, yes, making his poop disappear. I mean, really, is this Salem all over again? Do we really have to burn this man alive like some sort of faggot because he has startling unseen powers?
And of course, Alberto Gonzales… our dearly departed Attorney General, one of President Bush’s last Texan carpetbaggers and “America’s #1 Anchor Baby.” He was run out of town for what? Defending America? Loving our rights? Not remembering every goddamn thing that ever happened in his life? His good name wasn’t dragged through the mud, it was covered in a Ted Kennedy-sized pile of shit and as we all know, Liberal shit doesn’t just vanish like the feces of true defenders of this country.
The piece of shit Republicans used to call their “Speaker of the House” is hitting the fan and blowing out of town. Congressman Denny Hastert (E-Il.) is quitting.
One of those conservative whorehouses has the rest of the story:
As to why Hastert would call it quits so early and trigger a special election that Republicans might well lose — and thus cause them considerable embarrassment in a presidential year — one source told me this morning: “Denny is just fed up with Congress. He can’t stand it being in the minority after being the longest-serving Republican speaker in history.”
Yeah. Sure does suck to lose. Guess it’s time to pack up and head home before you get your legs or head blown off by those voracious, uncompromising Democrats.
Denny will best be remembered by the ten people who give two shits as that guy who sat around jerking Congressman Foley off while Foley was chatting with teenage boys on the internet.
If you’d like to bore yourself to death rather than do anything constructive, join the discussion with those queers over at ‘Kos — they’re really getting to bottom of this one.
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Now playing: Grateful Dead - U. S. Blues.